Greetings and hello’s, friendly gaming readers not phased by this block of text. Welcome to a very special morning edition of the Roundup. Once again, the Roundup serves as a gathering of news and happenings that The Red Herb missed out on because I’m a terrible human being. And boy howdy, did I miss out on a lot of shit. After a slew of conferences Monday, the E3 show floors filled with attendees yesterday — most united under the pen of journalism — ready to get their mitts on the hottest upcoming games and the newest innovations in video game technology.
Me? I was at work. The Herb’s not exactly what’d you call a “paying gig,” so I had to while away the hours not streaming E3 goodness directly into my brain. Because of my plight, I wasn’t able to cobble words in real-time and throw them at all the awesome, stupid, and stupidly awesome things we saw yesterday. But don’t think I’d let that bastard news get away from me. I may be late to it, but I’d sooner die face down, naked in a ditch than let these announcements go another second without me being mildly sarcastic about them.
I’ll have to be brief; my assholey-ness bitterly succinct. Here goes — welcome to our first ever E3 Roundup (TM).